Love Anyway

How do we bring ourselves to “love our neighbor” when we live in a world where bad things happen to good people? Sometimes anger and hatred prevail over the kinship and kindness we have discussed over the last two weeks. Why? And what can we do about it?

My campus ministry director at home has a friend, Father C, who has an incredible experience to share that may shed some light on loving our neighbors. Father C tells a story of profound forgiveness in the wake of a tragedy involving two families from the parish where he grew up. A boy and a girl were in a car together, the boy driving recklessly with the girl in the passenger seat. The car crashed, Liz died on impact, and Matt lived for two days in the hospital before also passing away.

According to Father C, “the parish was being torn apart.” Liz’s funeral was packed with standing room only: family, friends, and all the kids from their neighborhood crowded into the church to show their support and love and to grieve for Liz. Two days later, at Matt’s funeral, the church was almost empty, “likely out of anger, confusion, and fear.” Despite everything that had happened over the past week, Liz’s father saw a need for support and forgiveness that he could provide. He entered the empty church, sat behind Matt’s parents, and simply said, 

“We have both lost children. May I pray with you?”

This is the sort of radical, healing, faith-based forgiveness we are challenged to embrace and to live out ourselves, even when it seems like the most difficult response at times.

The opening lyrics of the song “We Walk By Faith” read: “We walk by faith, and not by sight.” The notion that “seeing is believing” is often a popular viewpoint in today’s society. We are drawn in by the material, the tangible. But a life of faith, a life of hope, means daring to follow Jesus without having the opportunity to touch his wounds or witness him pass through locked doors, as the first disciples did after his Resurrection.

We are urged to take a risk by humanity’s standards by trusting in the forgiveness that Jesus preached and lived out. After all, forgiveness doesn’t get more radical than this: after the Resurrection, Jesus revealed himself as the crucified Son of God to the very humanity who watched him die by showing the disciples his wounds, but even before that, he said, “Peace be with you” (John 20:19-20). And then he took, blessed, broke, and shared bread with them. Unconditional forgiveness.

Though it is often challenging and sometimes seems impossible, forgiveness is the choice ultimately made in faith. We are called to “love anyway.” 

The Call to kiNDness

Kind. This tiny word carries big weight. But what is so significant about those four letters other than the fact that the last two can be turned into a monogram (which totally rocks)?

Kind means loving. Kind means self-giving. Kind means following Jesus’s call.

kiND is also a brand new club on campus. A random acts of kindness club associated with the national Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, we began as a small seed of an idea during the fall of last year and are officially a club on campus as of this semester.

As a club, we repeatedly do things like place 3,000 encouraging sticky notes on the South Dining Hall trays the week before finals, hang “Take What You Need” posters in the library (see picture below), and stand outside DeBart giving free hugs to any and all unsuspecting participants who pass by. To put it simply, being in kiND Club is an absolute blast.

Why, though? What is it about plastering dining hall trays with pink, blue, and green squares of paper with writing on them that brings a sort of giddy excitement into my heart and an almost mischievous giggle to my lips? This is where the more important implication of the word “kind” comes in.

This weekend on the Sophomore Road Trip, I learned a great deal about being kiND. I am currently on crutches for a stress fracture and thus not overly mobile, and the enthusiasm with which my friends and new retreat family stepped up to literally carry me through this experience was astonishing. And quite humbling.

One of Jesus’ messages that we discussed on the Road Trip is found in the Gospel of John: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13 NRSV). Jesus is the embodiment of the word “kind.” His sacrifice for His friends, which includes every human being, is a direct call to action.

This can be an extremely intimidating one, given the literalness of Jesus’ “laying down.” Christians who have gone before us, though, have shown that this call can lead to actions as big as Jesus’ passion and death, or as simple as embracing St. Therese’s “little way.” My friends who carried me around this weekend laid down their lives for me, forgetting about their own comfort in order to increase mine. Taking the time out of the day to perform a random act of kindness is laying down one’s life; there are no resume-boosting or credit-earning elements involved in this action, but simply a caring for someone else’s heart.

The people around me not only ministered to my physical person this weekend, but also to my heart. They loved on me simply because they could, which I could not be more grateful for. This is what kiND Club does, too, through random acts of kindness. And in ministering to other people’s persons, we in turn minister to our own. Kindness is one of the greatest gifts we can give, and we are called to spread it with reckless abandon. Let’s actively live out that call.

On Kinship

“Peace and justice are byproducts of kinship.”

This past Tuesday, the Notre Dame campus was blessed with the opportunity to hear Father Greg Boyle, S.J. give a talk on Joy & Hope in the Hood. He spoke about his work with current and former gang members as founder and executive director of Homeboy Industries. Father Greg stressed “exquisite mutuality,” or kinship, as the purest and most necessary element of relationships.

In his ministry, Father Greg confronts the task of obliterating the illusory notion of “us” and “them,” and he challenges us to do the same. How do we overcome these constructions of our imagination? Through kinship.

The summer before my junior year of high school, I went on a service trip to El Salvador, where my group worked on building a school in a remote, impoverished community. During our time there, my friend Katherine embraced Father Greg’s exquisite mutuality in a beautifully organic moment.

After a long day of working on the school structure side by side with the children who would soon be learning there, Katherine noticed that the bare feet of one of the girls were completely caked with dirt. Without hesitation, Katherine grabbed a bucket, sat the girl down on a brick, and proceeded to wash her feet.

There was no “us” and “them” when Katherine stooped to rinse those little feet clean. There was no ulterior motive; desire for praise or a “photo op” were the furthest things from her mind. She wasn’t even aware that this picture was taken until much later. The adult chaperone who captured this moment described this small moment as one of the most beautiful things she has ever witnessed. When asked about it, Katherine humbly shrugged and explained that she acted upon a need that she saw she could meet.

Kinship is not a one-time action, but a continuous way of life. Father Greg urges us to be “absolutely confident in the slow work of God that begins with relationship.” We are all in need of healing, he says. The ways we try to separate ourselves from one another are just excuses we use to insist that we don’t belong to each other.

We are our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers. This may come in the form of both literally and metaphorically getting on our hands and knees and washing away layers of dirt from one another’s feet. It may be something as radical as laying one’s life down for the sake of another, like the man in the red bandana in the South Tower thirteen years ago. It may be as simple as providing a friend with the chance to be vulnerable. The opportunities to create Christ-like moments of grace are as numerous as the moments in a day.

Father Greg suggests that peace and justice stem from kinship. How will you embrace exquisite mutuality?

Where Faith Begins

Last fall, I arrived on the college scene as an enthusiastic, extroverted freshman with high expectations for my faith life at Notre Dame. A huge part of my decision to come here involved the spiritual growth and nourishment I anticipated being readily available here, and I couldn’t wait to get started.

With everything one needs to adjust to as a new college student, however, I let my relationship with God slip. I attended dorm and Basilica mass multiple times a week, talked about faith with my new friends, and went on the freshman retreat. But I faltered in my personal prayer. I asked God for help when I needed Him, but became complacent when I felt like things were “going well.” I struggled to “feel” God on a normal basis. I wasn’t present enough.

That is, until the middle of second semester. I found myself grieving for two wonderful people, my grandma and a high school classmate. Feelings of hopelessness, inadequacy, and insignificance plagued me. But as I was reminded of the impermanence of life, I simultaneously became very aware of the tremendous ways God works through our friends and families both in times of need and during daily activities. A huge blessing came from a time of great uncertainty: I found myself relying so heavily on God to give me the courage to do His will in everyday life that I often forgot about my own. And that was beautiful.

I wish I could claim to have gained the courage or the patience to put every action of mine in the hands of God. But I can’t and I don’t. Friends, this is where faith begins to waltz with our utter humanity: faith is not necessarily knowing where God is taking us, but blindly trusting that it is exactly where we need to be.

This year's Freshman First Visit to the Grotto

As a sophomore, I have gradually transitioned from an uncertain freshman to an active participant in my faith and personal relationship with God. I continue attending several dorm masses a week (see Megan’s Ultimate Guide), am a member of the Catholic faith sharing group Four:7 (read about this and other awesome on-campus spiritual opportunities here), and am involved in Spiritual Life in my dorm and in smaller groups with friends. I’m also a leader of Compass, a fantastic opportunity for freshmen to receive support from peers and upperclassmen. 

Taking an active role in my relationship with the Lord while continuing to learn how to navigate college has changed my life, and I know I have only begun to scratch the surface.

Welcoming First Year students into the Compass family