That Magic Week

This August, I had the privilege of witnessing God’s love manifested in a place: The Grand Canyon. His love is preserved in the fossil beds, built up in the multi-billion-year-old layers, carved into the grooves of rock. The patience, the care, the beauty: it’s all delivered through the persistence of the Colorado River, ever-flowing and continually changing that extravagant place into a new work of love.

Our crew, most of my dad’s side of the family, was in the Canyon for 8 days and 226 miles. My grandma asked that her ashes be spread there, which was our mission. The outcome? Abundant grace. Peaceful love. The making of thousands of tiny memory-instants. It was the best way I can imagine spending a week: having the opportunity to just be with one another was such a gift.

I hope the piece I offer below succeeds in conveying even a little sliver of the grace God gave my family and I during that magic week:

Were you paying attention?

Did you absorb the colors, feel the breeze, sense the energy in the splashes that arose from 
     the magical Colorado?

I did.

Were you scared?

Afraid of critters – scorpions, mice, snakes, bats –

Pieces of the canyon toppling on you while you slept,

Pushing your mental and physical strength as you suspended your body by four limbs on 
     slippery stone in the middle of a slot canyon?

Did you fear, even for a moment, that we might flip in the midst of Crystal or Lava Falls 
     rapids?

Did you hear the cicadas?

Smell the tasty freshness of the brush after thunderstorms that rolled in and out with ease?

Anticipate the beauty of each new rock layer of the canyon revealed around the bend?

Did you…

Feel the rush of jumping off the boat or of scrambling up a canyon wall or of sitting in 
     silence with beauty towering over you?

Contemplate the billions of years during which God crafted this place and the risks it took 
     other humans to discover and explore it and live there?

Pray while watching a shooting star and its wondrous tail flash across the light-speckled 
     night sky?

Marvel at tadpoles and wade through muddy water that stained your skin and caked your 
     hair?

Did you notice how nature has full reign there?

Did you rejoice at the blue color of the Little Colorado River?

And proceed to make a human train through a rapid

That ended up in a big puddle of family and body parts and laughs and sputters and joy?

And swallow mouthfuls of the river with your head thrown back and your eyes squinty and 
     your arms flailing all about?

Did you rise and set with the sun?

Did you encounter the Son?

Did the experience change you in ways you needed to be changed?

Did you stand in wonder at the base of a waterfall Grams jumped off of, and then jump off 
     of it yourself?

Did you reflect on the fact that none of us would be here –

Yes, here:

In the world,

Experiencing this glorious life in the way that we currently are –

Without her?

Did you miss her?

Me too.

Did you find love, and give it all away?

Did you sing

And dance

And laugh

And play

And swim

And bathe

And play cards

And pack up

And hike

And work a bag line

And cook

And clean

And huddle under a tent

And pass around Twizzlers and Sour Patch and gorp and peanut butter pretzels

And talk

And sit

And remember

And cry

And learn

And celebrate

And give thanks

And frolic

With your family

And two awesome guides

And some of your best friends on the whole planet

In the midst

Of God’s endlessly majestic

And utterly indescribable creation

For one week of uninterrupted adventure and joy?

I did.

Hail the Cross, Our Only Hope

A banner hanging in Father Hesburgh's chapel on the thirteenth floor of Hesburgh Library

A focus of my hall retreat last weekend was “Found.” At some times this year I have felt the most “found” by God and by my loved ones that I have ever felt. 

I have been on fire with love for the Lord and with the desire to serve, responding to the call to serve as a Mentor-In-Faith at ND Vision this summer and accepting the invitation to a semester of adventure abroad in London next spring. I attended three incredibly refreshing, community-building, faith-invigorating retreats: Sophomore Road Trip, Anchor Leadership retreat, and my hall retreat. I saw the Notre Dame family unite in a special and perhaps unprecedented way with the passing of Reverend Theodore Hesburgh, C.S.C. in March. I sat on a Hawaiian black sand beach and contemplated what a gift it is to be alive on the Hawaii Pilgrimage this spring break. I stayed on campus for Easter weekend and was blessed to attend all of the Triduum services at the Basilica, entering into the Holy Week experience in an intensely beautiful, personal way. I made wonderful memories with fantastic friends, both old and new.

At other times this year, I have felt the most lost that I have ever been. 

Several of my close friends have suffered while accompanying family and friends in times of pain. So have I. Our community has grieved the loss of the lives of students, faculty, and benefactors. Our world continues to face natural disasters, tragedies, and unrest. Sometimes it feels like my prayers are small and insignificant. Actually, lots of times it has felt this way. And as I continue to navigate what it means to be a good friend, roommate, student, daughter, follower, leader, and disciple of Jesus, sometimes I feel like I’m failing in these roles. Sometimes the more I learn about who I am meant to be and what I am meant to do, the further I stray away from those things.

However.

My theology class recently read Charles Peguy’s epic poem The Portal of the Mystery of Hope. This text has been hugely transformative in the way I view the concept of hope. On Easter Sunday, Peguy says, “God, for each soul that is saved, rings the eternal Easter bells.” Humans hope in the Resurrection that we experience on Easter because humankind was glorified in Christ. God hopes in the Resurrection because it brings about the finding and the bringing back of His lost sheep.

This semester, I have truly learned to hope.

I see hope in the texts I have read in theology class this semester. I witness hope in my friends and in my family when faced with challenges. I take hope in the coming of spring in the tiny pink and green buds all over campus. I find hope in my own heart at the thought that God hopes in me. Each time I run to Him in hope (or shame or fear or happiness or uncertainty or gratitude), he rings the eternal Easter bells.

Ave crux spes unica. Hail the Cross, Our Only Hope.

This does not mean that everything else is hopeless, but rather that all other hope we may hold within our hearts stems from the hope of Easter Sunday. We have something eternal and certain to hope in. And that is something to be joyful about!

Taken in Flathead Lake, Montana

"I Love It Here."

Liyana is an extraordinary woman on Notre Dame’s campus, and I am blessed to consider her a dear friend. She is a Muslim woman graduating from the University of Notre Dame with more knowledge about the Catholic faith than most Catholics here (and around the world, for that matter). How? After four years at ND, Liyana will soon graduate with a degree in Theology.

I had the opportunity to sit down this week to chat with Liyana about life and faith and what it has been like to find a home at Notre Dame as a Muslim student from Malaysia.

Liyana grew up in Malaysia, where 60% of people identify themselves as Muslim. The culture as a whole is a conservative one, in which children grow up learning the intricacies of Islam. Liyana began wearing the hijab, the veil worn by many Muslim women, when she was seven years old. Wearing this modest head covering is as normal to her as putting on any other clothing for the day; it simply is what she does. She was taught to pray five times a day from very early on, and Islam has always been an integral part of her identity and way of life.

A college scholarship program essentially decided that Liyana would attend Notre Dame. She distinctly remembers realizing the school was Catholic in her freshman seminar course, where she noticed a crucifix mounted on the wall. She saw the same cross in her next class and in her next one, and by the end of the day she realized there was something distinctly different about this school. Islam does not have any symbols or images, so at Islamic schools in Malaysia where some of Liyana’s friends attend university, the Muslim identity is present because it is lived in and spoken about rather than represented in images such as the crucifix present in every classroom on Notre Dame’s campus. The longer Liyana has lived here, the more she has seen that Christianity can be the same way: talked about and lived in.

Liyana entered her education at Notre Dame as an engineering major. After some important conversations with her Foundations of Theology teacher, she realized theology was something worth pursuing during her time here and beyond because it addresses important issues that engage her deep investment in her Islamic faith and asks the “important questions.”

She realized how much she didn’t know about Christianity and developed a thirst to learn more. Liyana joined a group of Theology graduate students who study the Qur’an, which she remained in for one semester. She gradually progressed from declaring a Theology minor to a supplemental major to a full-blown second major in Theology. 

I was extremely interested to find out how studying Catholic Theology at Notre Dame has informed Liyana’s understanding of her own religion, which Christian beliefs she has adopted into her own understanding of God and life and the world, and which ones she takes issues with. In Islam, Liyana explained, there is a “bookkeeping” idea of sinfulness: one is not born a “sinner,” as in the Christian tradition, but rather can become sinful. There is a sort of record kept, and sins can be cancelled out with good deeds. Liyana finds that the Christian idea of being born sinful is hard to accept, but she likes the idea that sins are forgiven in Christ. She also thinks Muslims could benefit from an authority, Pope-like figure to unify the “colorful” distribution of Islam, and admires that Catholics have such a figure to look to for spiritual direction.

The elements of her Islamic faith that have really anchored her to the religion she grew up with, even despite engaging so deeply in another religion during her time here, are the Qur’an and personal prayer.

In attempting to put myself in Liyana’s shoes – which I really cannot, because they’re such beautifully unique shoes – I was curious as to whether she feels that she has found a home here at such a Catholic school as a Muslim student. Her answer? A resounding yes. She was skeptical upon arrival about whether her faith could grow in a place that was so different from where she grew up, but she has found that every year has met her with pleasant surprises. She has found a home in the Muslim Student Association on campus, which she is the president of this year. She is especially thankful for the opportunity to engage in personal and communal prayer in the Meditation Room in the Campus Ministry office in CoMo.

One of the most encouraging comments Liyana made during our conversation was that Notre Dame has really started to listen to what students of other religions have to say, which has been a huge transition since she arrived as a freshman. She feels that she can speak about faith candidly and freely here, which in itself already makes ND feel like home to her. After she graduates, Liyana hopes to work in inter-faith dialogue, particularly in Malaysia, where she feels this ministry is particularly needed. She says she will dearly miss CoMo, the Campus Ministry office, and going to Mass after graduation. “I love it here,” she smiled.

A Complete Initiation

It’s Resurrection season! It is the official season of new birth and growth in the Church, when we welcome people into the Catholic Church through the Sacraments of Initiation: Baptism, Holy Eucharist, and Confirmation.

I remember my Confirmation process well – it was about a year of prep work my sophomore year of high school made up of lectures, discussions, research assignments, papers, and service projects. At the time, I viewed some of these commitments as tedious – but now I recognize the importance of truly delving into what I was about to participate in during Confirmation: taking ownership of my faith as an adult. Embracing full initiation into the Church. Receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit.

I chose Elizabeth Ann Seton as my Confirmation saint, since her work in education in New York and dedication to women and the poor inspired me. My nerves were happily level during my Confirmation Mass until I was back in my seat after receiving a cross of Holy Chrism oil on my forehead. I realized I had just professed my faith once and for all in front of a whole church of people and in front of God. I had become fully Catholic, of my own accord. I had received the gift of the Holy Spirit and had put on Christ. I was stunned by my sudden overflowing emotion; I did not expect to “feel” so much, despite the fact that I knew this was an important moment. I had zero desire to conceal the joyous tears streaking my skin.

This Sunday, April 19, we have the privilege of welcoming almost fifty ND students into the Church who are completing their initiation into the Church at the 11:45 a.m. Basilica Mass, whether by receiving their first Holy Communion and Confirmation or Confirmation alone. I also look forward with hope and joy to my younger brother’s Confirmation in two weeks, and am excited to see where the spiritual journeys of all newly initiated Catholics take them! Sincere congratulations and welcome to all who have been and will be initiated into the Church this Easter season.

With dear friends after Confirmation - notice my "Elizabeth" name tag and the shiny Chrism on my forehead!

The Most Interesting Man in the World

He can light every candle in the Grotto with one match.

He once heard his own confession.

When in Rome, they do as he does.

He is the Most Interesting Man in the World.

He is recognized immediately, just by a white square at his neck.

He has wit and he knows the perfect formula for a homily.

He is relatable and human.

He is the Most Interesting Man in the World.

He is a Holy Cross priest.

Photo by Matt Cashore

Holy Cross priests are united by their five guiding principles: mind, heart, zeal, family, and hope. Men of Holy Cross on the Notre Dame campus and all over the world manifest these principles in various ways in their ministry and service. If these are played out in different ways depending on the C.S.C., what characteristics seem to be consistent across the order? Three things immediately come to mind: their wittiness, their enthusiasm for what they do, and their obvious humanity and relatability.

Wit. The Congregation of Holy Cross is a community of brothers. This is key to their formation as priests and men. I imagine that wittiness is an essential quality to develop in a group of males who eat, pray play, and live together. Somehow they manage to poke fun at their brothers while concelebrating mass with them, point out lessons in discipleship from the movie Frozen, and incorporate commentary on the Resurrection through the lens of the social media platform Yik Yak in homilies.

Enthusiasm. Holy Cross priests are educators in the faith wherever they go. They embrace this mission with the upmost enthusiasm. Whether serve as the rector of a dorm, a teacher, an administrator, or at a Holy Cross mission, the men of this order look for hope in daily situations and find opportunities to share their zeal for the Christian faith. C.S.C.s always seem to have way too many things going on at once, which in some ways is a great problem to have in the context of their enthusiasm – lucky for those of us benefitting from their faithful energy!

Humanity. This is my favorite quality of a Holy Cross priest. They are unapologetically human, and always find ways to relate to the community around them (see the last sentence of the Wit section). The men of Holy Cross exist to create family wherever they go. They give the gift of presence and genuine character on a daily basis and are very approachable.

So why, exactly, is a Holy Cross priest the Most Interesting Man in the World? Because he is a priest.

 

The six deacons to be ordained on April 11th after taking their final vows. Greeted by their Holy Cross brothers.
Photo by Matt Cashore 

This weekend, the Congregation of Holy Cross welcomes six new priests into their order through the Sacrament of Holy Orders: Deacons Matthew Fase, C.S.C.; David Halm, C.S.C.; Timothy Mouton, C.S.C.; Stephen Chase Pepper, C.S.C.; Daniel Ponisciak, C.S.C.; and Christopher Rehagen, C.S.C. The ordinations will be celebrated at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart at 2 p.m., and all are welcome!

On April 11, 2015, each of these men will become the Most Interesting Man in the World. See the Holy Cross Vocations website for more information.

I take zero credit for the idea of or words “The Most Interesting Man in the World.” This character belongs to Dos Equis and is in no way mine.

The Holiest of Weeks

I can’t remember back to a Holy Week when my brothers, John and David, and I didn’t identify with titles such as Altar Server 1, Altar Server 2, Candle Bearer 1, Candle Bearer 2, Cross Bearer, or Thurifer (the “incense person”) for approximately four days in a row. We filled these positions in our home parish during the services on Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil, and Easter Sunday, sometimes with reluctance early on, but later having developed a sense of the immense honor it was to contribute – in a small way – to the most important week on the Church calendar.

Photo from Our Lady of the Lake Parish website

Holy Week begins on Palm Sunday (3/29 this year). During Mass we hear about Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem, and we listen to one account of his Passion, or the story of his crucifixion, during the Gospel reading. We also receive palms, which I have developed a passion for folding into crosses – and I know I’m not the only one! All jokes aside, though, if we just jumped from here to Easter Sunday, when we hear the Resurrection accounts, we wouldn’t experience the whole story…

That’s where the Triduum comes in. The Triduum is made up of three days: Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday, but it comprises one liturgical celebration in the Church…

During the Mass of the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday, we celebrate Jesus’ Last Supper, including a foot washing ceremony to recall the way Jesus humbled himself to wash his disciples' feet. This Mass also remembers the institution of the Eucharist and the Priesthood at the Last Supper. All of the consecrated Eucharist is removed from the tabernacle where it usually resides and taken to an Altar of Repose after Mass, where it is saved for the service on Good Friday. The sanctuary lamp, which indicates the presence of Christ in the Eucharist (see this post), is extinguished. This physically points to Jesus’ absence in death.

The Mass of the Lord’s Supper will be celebrated at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart on 3/2/15 at 5 p.m.

Tenebrae is a prayer service on Holy Thursday that usually involves the gradual extinguishing of candles, all but one. Tenebrae is Latin for “darkness.” During this service a strepitus, or “great noise,” typically occurs in the midst of the darkness to symbolize the earthquake that occurred upon Jesus’ death on the cross.

            Tenebrae will be celebrated at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart on 3/2/15

            At 11 p.m.

On Good Friday, the worldwide Church remembers and mourns Jesus’ passion and death. It is a day of fasting, penance, prayer, and silence, and is the one day out of the year on which no Masses are celebrated. There is, however, a Good Friday service. This service is composed of the Liturgy of the Word, during which John’s Passion narrative is read, Veneration of the Cross where members of the congregation kiss, touch, or simply kneel before a large wooden cross representing the one Jesus was crucified on, and a Communion service. It is not a Mass because though Communion is distributed, there is no Liturgy of the Eucharist; instead, the Eucharist that was consecrated on Holy Thursday is used. Traditionally the three hours between 12 p.m. and 3 p.m. are observed silently on Good Friday, as this was the time that Jesus suffered on the cross. He passed away at 3 p.m. after Three Hours’ Agony.

            The Celebration of the Lord’s Passion will be held at the Basilica of the

            Sacred Heart on 3/3/15 at 3 p.m. after three Silent Hours of Prayer, and

            there will be a Stations of the Cross ceremony at 7:15 p.m.

            Note: the cross venerated in the Basilica on Good Friday contains a relic

of the actual cross Christ was crucified on. It can be venerated

throughout the year in the Reliquary Chapel in the Basilica.

On Holy Saturday, the Solemn Paschal Vigil, or Easter Vigil, is held at night. It is a longer Mass, composed of a Service of Light, Liturgy of the Word, Liturgy of Baptism, and Liturgy of the Holy Eucharist. During the Service of Light, the new Paschal (Easter) Candle – the tall white pillar that stands on the altar throughout the year – is typically processed into a darkened church, reminiscent of the darkness of the Triduum and the solemn mood of Good Friday. In my home parish, light from this candle is distributed throughout the church to smaller candles that members of the congregation are holding, representing the Light of Christ returning to the world and residing in each one of us. The Easter Vigil is also the night on which new members of the Church are welcomed into the family through the sacraments of Baptism, Holy Eucharist, and Confirmation. The Easter Vigil is by far my favorite Mass of the year, as it is a time of new and renewed faith. It is a liturgy filled with hope, joy, and celebration.

Easter Vigil will be celebrated at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart on 3/4/15 at 9 p.m.

At last, we have arrived at Easter Sunday, the ultimate opportunity to rejoice and sing “Alleluia” for the first time since the beginning of Lent. Jesus’ resurrection means absolutely everything to the Catholic faith. The Lord is Risen…He is Risen Indeed!

Easter Sunday Mass will be celebrated at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart on 3/5/15 at 8 a.m. and 12 p.m. The Easter Student Mass will be celebrated at 9 p.m.

The Triduum takes commitment. Time. Energy. But it is absolutely worth the investment of all of these in order to experience the fullness of the culmination of salvation history: the loss, the grief, the celebration, the joy.

I am staying on campus for Easter this year, which is certainly bittersweet: it will be my first year away from my family during the Triduum and I won’t get to claim ownership of the titles Thurifer or Altar Server 2, but I will be an enthusiastic participant in all things Holy Week here on campus. There is a unique sense of understanding that accompanies participation in the Masses and services of Holy Week that simply cannot be experienced any other way. Kate Morgan, the Director of Communications for Campus Ministry, commented that the Triduum is “A way to go through every emotion that you’re supposed to.” Holy Week tells the whole story.